I've created an entire world inside my head. It's like a kick in the shins when I'm reminded it's not real.

So, yesterday, I was asked if I run over drunk people for points. Not only do I not drive, but I'm still trying to figure out just what kind of person I seem like to others to be asked that.

So far, the best Thanksgiving wish I've gotten is 'Happy Gain 10 Pounds Day!'. How accurate you are.

Life Is Like A Movie:

If you are sad: Drama
If you are afraid: Suspense
If you are angry: Action
When you look in the mirror: Horror
Now you are smiling: That's Comedy!

Why?

I am the ice cream man, running over kids in my big white van.
If I miss at first, I'll sure hit them in reverse!

Make-Up Tip of the Day:

No matter how bored you are, do not draw on your stuff/body with water-proof make-up. It actually is water-proof!
Now, drawing on your friends...that's a different matter entirely.

Deep Thought Of The Day:
Some people are like slinkys. They don't really have a purpose, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

Summer Vacation

Ahh.... Summer. The time when people get tanned at the beach, the time when people play volleyball with random local people, the time when kids are out of school, the time when people get sunburned.

So, yes, summer is awesome, amazing, cool, relaxing, hot, and all that jazz, but summer is also a time in which most families go on trips, hang out, generally do family events that drive kids mad, but also tie families together.

There are so many thigs that you can do during a summer, it would be futile to try to list them all. But don't follow that Disney show, Phineus and Ferb, because, in real life, most of those things those boys do are illegal.

Just come up with your own stuff.

Now, I've got three lists for you. I do love a nice list, whether it's a T0-Do list, or a grocery list, you can always alter them to benefit yourself. If you wanna, that is.

What You Don't Want:

1. A sun burn. Believe it or not, but if you stay out in the sun long enough, you'll get burned, no matter how dark you are to begin with. Not only are sunburns painful, but they are ugly, with their peeling-ness, and redness. So just get some sunscreen if you plan on being in the sun more than an hour, especially if you're doing that so called 'tanning' business by the pool. It's better to get a tan while in the pool, not near it, because the water supposedly helps keep you hydrated and you've got less of a chance of getting burned. Now, if it's a storm, that's another story.

2. A summer romance. Those things are said to never last long, and you don't want to enter the fall 'heart broken' because your little summer fling didn't last. While they may be fun at the time, they can get annoying. But, that's more of an opinion statement. So do whatever.

3. A broken arm/leg. Don't wait until you're completely free until you go and break a bone, wait 'til school! Then you've got an excuse for your lack of completed homework. Having a cast is annoying in the summer because that equals no swimming. Unless you get a waterproof one, which I've heard are even more irritating than the regulars. Don't break a bone at all, if you can help it, really.

4. A sun burn. I've already mentioned it, but I'm saying it again. Don't burn your skin. Really. It's not fun.

How to Annoy Someone at the Beach :

1. Lay out your stuff abnormally close to the next person. Personal space issues.

2. Talk loudly.

3. Scream like a moron.

4. Kick up sand when you walk.

5. 'Accidently' squirt your sunscreen on the person next to you. Whoops I 'missed'.

6. Run through sand castles. If it's a little kid's, stay away, don't make a child cry. It's bad on the karma points. But teenagers are fun to annoy.

7. Splash random people.

8. Hug strangers, works best after you've been in the water.

9. Practice your opera.

10. When no one is looking, switch people's sunglasses around. 'Hey! You stole my sunglasses!'

Do's For The Summer:

1. Get a tan. Like I said, don't burn yourself, but if you end the summer as pale -or paler- than you were when it began, you've gotten nothing accomplished. Don't live your life being compared to a snowflake. *Cough, C, cough.*

2. Do something different with your hair.

3. Annoy at least one person.

4. Help at least one person.

5. Attempt to go somewhere. It's not the funnest (no that is not a real word, yes I'm aware that is not a real word, yes I will continue to use the non-real word) thing in the world to stay in the same city the whole summer. Buy a knickknack when you get there. One that shall be cool for three hours before you put it on a shelf and it gets coated in dust and forgotten.

6. Go swimming. Anywhere.

7. Get banned from a store. Bonus points if it's an entire mall.

8. Paint a picture using your toes and paint. (you may use baby food too, but that is not as fun)

9. Draw pictures and words on sidewalks across the city with chalk. As questions, write quotes, draw characters, make people happy. Or irritated, if you do it, say, on someone else's driveway...

10. Adopt an entirely new personality if you go somewhere new. Bonus points for bad accents/ fake mustaches.

Summer is a time of fun, tans, burns, sunscreen, water fights, drama, summer romances, summer reading (yeah, don't forget about that one...), sun, sun, and more sun. Whether you're at the beach, or in the city, there'll be loads of sun unless you cross into the Southern Hemisphere.

Don't kill yourselves having fun, but do have fun. Just limit it, okay? Limit it to the line where it goes from fun to injury. SO, if you were planning on jumping off your roof, into a pool, that would be past that line that I mentioned. But if you were planning on shoving your older cousin who's making out with his new girl friend who'd never met the family before in the pool, that, well, you'll see.

Have fun. Stay non-red.

Words to Use and How to Use Them

Super quick post, sudden idea:

word: [ wurd ] n. a unit of language, consisting of one or more spoken sounds or their written representation, that functions as a principal carrier of meaning. Words are composed of one or more morphemes and are either the smallest units susceptible of independent use or consist of two or three such units combined under certain linking conditions

Words.

There are just so many of them. It is said, that a picture is worth a thousand words. But what kind of words?

Words can be exciting.

They can colour your world as they describe in great, realistic detail what's happening so well that they just flow with a sort of dull (but not the boring kind) rhythm. They beat into your head, taking you to the place that they're describing with such passion.

Or, words can be boring.

They can bore you as they flow so irregularly, that it's impossible to absorb the picture that they're trying to paint for you. And you're bored.

So, basically, in short, these are the two equations for words.

Exciting words = Words that are exciting.

Boring words = Words that are boring.

And that is all you need to know.

Now, if you know you are a frequent user of said boring words, there are a few remedies to fix this:

1. Read (and remeberize) a Thesaurus.

2. Continue reading this post.

3. Become a monkey.

Now, obviously, if you are still reading this post, you have chosen option two.

And here is why option two is clearly the easiest:

List of Cool Words and Examples on Occasions to Use Them

1. Elvendork : This is curtesy of Harry Potter Fan Sites everywhere. Elvendork is a bisexual name. Which means you can use it for a girl baby or a boy baby. And so, with that bit of background knowledge, here is an example for this wonderfully unique name useage:

"What should we name our baby?" The very large pregnant lady asked her husband.

Her husband thought for a moment before glancing at his fat wife, "I kind of like Elvendork."

The very large pregnant lady (who's name is Tina) looked at her husband. "We are not naming our baby Elvendork."

"But Tina! The name is bisexual! It can be for both a boy or a girl!"

"The baby could be nicknamed 'Dorky'" The very large pregnant lady insisted. "And I know what bisexual means!"

"But-"

"NOOO!!" The very large pregnant lady screamed at her husband.

2. confuzzled : This is a word that originated some time after Abraham Lincoln died : Look below for example :

"I am very confuzzled," Bob said to his coworker, Bo.

"Why?" Bo asked curiously.

"Because this monkey will not fit into this potato costume," Bob explained.

"Oh, Bob, don't be silly, you're holding the monkey upside-down!" Bo exclaimed, and Bob looked reenlightened.

3. poopy-face : This word is commonly used to describe siblings when one is feeling the emotion of irritation (see previous post for more on that) : View below for example of conversation :

"Hahahaha, I gots your potato salad!!" The older brother bragged, holding the potato salad in front of his sister.

"Hahahaha, I gots your hair-care-products!!" The younger sister said easily, holding the hair-care-products in front of her brother.

"Yeah, well... You're a poopy-face!!" The older brother finally said, stomping away and proceeding to cry.

4. gravy : this word, though well known as a lovely sauce (??) for turkey, is also the new cool word to describe people : You should know the drill by now :

"Jackie," Jack said to his girlfriend, "Your shirt is so gravy."

"Oh, Jack," His girlfriend said, "You're so sweet. That was the nicest thing anyone has ever said about this shirt in the past hour."

"Um." Said Jack.

5. cacafogo : this word can be found in the Scrabble Dictionary. I think : It means hot-tempered person : Really. Drill. Down :

"STOP POKING MY BACK!!!!" Gazelle roared at Mason.

Mason stared at her for a moment. "Cacafogo."

"What?"

"Spitfire; hot-tempered person." Mason explained.

She stared for a second before turning back around.

And Mason poked her again.

************************************************************************************

Yes. So I am done. Didn't have too many words to give out now, my mind is at a blank. I did like writing the examples though. :D

If you have a cool word that you want to leave, just comment. And I might just post this again, new and improved, giving you credit for whatever word you posted.

Hope you liked it, and hope you weren't offended in any way possible.

Good day.

Annoying People and How to Handle Them

Beware of the shortis first ever post:


Sometimes, I wonder, why people are annoying.

Were they made like that? Were they irritating even when they were small and tiny and babyish?

But why would good ol' God give us irksome people? So they must have developed their irritatingness on their own.

And so, since some people just feel the need to be irritating all the time, other people have to develop ways to 'win'.

And I just may have a few that I'm willing to share. Now, keep in mind, that some of these may work better for some people (ie: the people who are being annoyed) than others and some may work better on some people (ie: the people who are being annoying) than others.

And, also, keep in mind that you just might be able to get away with some of these (as they can be called 'abuse'. Pfft), but I find it still immensly helpful simply imaging some of these happening to the irksome 'target'.

But, maybe that's just me.


Ways to Win:

1. Always keep a neutral expression on your face.
2. Try not to lose your head frequently.
3. Bash their head in with a nearby hard object.
4. Pull the Act of Maturity: Shove your fingers in your ears and sing 'Lalalalala, I can't hear you! Lalalalala, I can't hear you!!'.
5. Knee them where it hurts most. (Works better on the male species)
6. Tilt your head sideways and adopt a thoughtful look. When they stop, confused, and ask 'What?' say, 'Your voice is quite annoying, did you know?' in the most innocent voice you can muster.
7. Suddenly, run away, screaming like mad.
8. Begin to sing opera. Badly.
9. Ask them what gender they are.
10. When they say, 'Right?', asking for your agreement, don't be polite and pretend you were listening, simply say, 'Huh?'.
11. Interupt them and say 'Do you know who you remind me of?' and when they ask who, suggest the first person that comes to your head. (Works best if you suggest a common-known irritating person of the opposite sex. ie: If it is a male, suggest *Miley Cyrus. If it is a female, suggest *Donald Duck. But *Justin Bieberoften works well with both genders.)
12. Start echoing what they say.
13. Every time you speak, do it in a bad accent.
14. Sing the alphabet. (Bonus points if you do it backwards!)
And finally:
15. Drop down to your knees and propose.


Most of these, I have actually used. But if you use one on somebody and get into trouble, remember: It was a **muscle spasm.

I hope you enjoyed reading these though, I had fun relating and remembering using them. If you do use some, always remember me!

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D


*I am not trying to make fun of any of these lovely people. I am merely suggesting that most people of the teenager age find them at least mildly annoying. I for one, happen to enjoy Miley Cyrus, but, what can you do?

**I am not trying to make fun of someone who actually has muscle spasms. I really am not. My friend, A, uses that excuse everytime she hits someone or knocks something out of someone's hand on purpose. If you find it offensive, just tell me. I'm sorry. Don't sue me, though. I am quite broke at the present moment.